


The Justice League And The Third Watchtower Star Wars Debate

by VigilantSycamore



Category: Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, The Justice League Are All Nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12022920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VigilantSycamore/pseuds/VigilantSycamore
Summary: The Justice League discuss Star Wars. Of course an argument breaks out about whether Rey is a Kenobi or a Skywalker.





	The Justice League And The Third Watchtower Star Wars Debate

After another successful mission - defusing the Sardine Crisis and preserving Atlantis-NATO relations - the Justice League had returned to their satellite headquarters and decided to spend some time in the lounge (yes, the Watchtower has a lounge. The Flash insisted and it _was_ designed by Bruce Wayne so there was no argument) relaxing. This naturally led to a discussion about the one thing the entire League could agree on: Star Wars. It went well until Barry somehow came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to bring up the question of Rey’s heritage.

“I really don’t think she needs to be a descendant of a pre-existing character,” Diana argued. “But given the emphasis on legacy it does make sense. Most likely, she’s descended from one of the Jedi we’ve seen before.”

“Well, it’s not like we need to speculate,” Superman said. “It’s pretty obvious who she is.”

“Yep.” Batman voiced his agreement. “I think we’ve all figured it out.”

Unfortunately, at the same time that Clark said “she’s a Skywalker”, Bruce proclaimed “Rey is a Kenobi.” All six Green Lanterns simultaneously formed popcorn constructs with their power rings, sensing a rather entertaining argument approaching.

 “…Kenobi? Dude! She’s obviously a Skywalker - Luke’s sword called to her and Luke clearly recognised her at the end! Besides, why else would R2D2 wait until she returned to re-activate?”

“The sword calling to her means she’s connected to the Skywalker family, not necessarily related. The twin of Riddle’s wand chose Harry, but he’s obviously not the heir of Slytherin.”

“Okay, if you’re going to start comparing swords and wands I can’t even take you seriously right now,” seeing Bruce’s glare, Clark backtracked. “I mean, I  can, you’re Batman, it’s just, you know, in this debate…”

“The point is that the Skywalkers’ sword would also call to Rey if she was a Kenobi. For that matter, in that scene she takes the sword out of a chest just like Obi-Wan did in a New Hope and she heard Obi Wan’s voice during the forceback.”

“So? Harry heard Voldemort’s voice when he got attacked by Dementors, it doesn’t make them related,” Clark pointed out.

Barry decided to interrupt to point out that Clark was using a Harry Potter reference when he’d previously dismissed Bruce’s use of the same. “You can’t do that! Can he do that?” The resulting glares made it clear that playing umpire was not welcome, so Barry decided to shut up.

“Also, who _got_ that lightsabre after Obi Wan took it out of the chest? Luke!” Clark continued. “And you haven’t said anything about my other arguments.”

“Oh, really? Challenge accepted. Luke is Force sensitive so he would have been able to Rey’s strength in the Force, which would have been surprising on its own given that he thought the Jedi had all been purged by Kylo, and if Rey _is_ a Kenobi, Luke would have sensed the connection to Obi Wan - so yeah, he’d recognise her. And R2D2 could have been under orders from Luke to stay in low-power mode until a Jedi is near - that’s as good an explanation as Rey being a Skywalker.”

“Bruce, all you’ve done is shown that my arguments aren’t definitive proof that she’s a Skywalker. That doesn’t make her a Kenobi.”

At this point, Oliver turned to face Laurel, who was recording the whole thing with a video camera, and asked “What are you doing?”

“I’m filming this for my vlog,” Laurel replied, “do you have any idea how many views I could get? How’s this for a title: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Flame Wars.”

Meanwhile, the argument continued. “Then how do you explain all of the parallels to Obi Wan? The way Rey holds her lightsaber - like Obi Wan does; her accent - how many main characters in Star Wars sound English? Luke and Anakin both grew up on a desert planet but they had family, while Rey grew up alone - and who was alone in the desert in A New Hope? Oh, and what was the second thing Rey did using the Force? Jedi. Mind. Trick. Obi Wan has always been the best at mind tricks - and the first time we saw him use it was on a Stormtrooper. Just. Like. Rey did. Boom!”

“Oh, like an accent changes everything! It’s not a genetic thing, I don’t have a Kandorian accent, do I? And we’ve seen Luke using Jedi mind tricks too so Rey being good at them doesn’t prove anything.”

“The accent on its own isn’t conclusive, but it reinforces the other parallels. And Luke didn’t mind trick a Stormtrooper. _And_ Obi Wan has a far better track record than Luke or Qui Gon, so we can infer that he’s freakishly good at it - just like Rey, who pulled off a successful Jedi mind trick on her second attempt when she was just discovering that she could even use the Force!”

“Well, if we’re using parallels as evidence how about the fact that Rey loves flying? Obi Wan _hated_ flying, but guess who didn’t? The Skywalkers!”

“Really? We’re resorting to character traits? Rey wanted to go _back_ to Jakka and have nothing to do with the war. Does that sound like a Skywalker to you?”

“All the obvious clues certainly point to Rey being a Skywalker!”

“Exactly! Do you really think _Abrams_ would give us all those obvious clues then have them turn out to be true?”

“And yet you’ve been insisting all along that Rey is _obviously_ a Kenobi! I guess if it’s so obvious it must be a red herring!”

J’onn sighed. “Why do they think that disproving the other’s theory makes their own more likely to be true? There are still other possibilities.”

“This is worse than when Clark ate the last Hostess Fruit Pie,” Shayera muttered gravely. “Any second now they’ll start insulting each other instead of actually arguing.”

“Did you just try to make me sabotage myself? You really think _my_ obvious is the same as anyone else’s obvious? I see through the kind of red herrings and misdirection that would make Abrams faint before I’ve even had the first coffee of the day.”

“And what makes you the expert on what the red herrings in this movie are?”

“Because I’m Batman!”

Arthur facepalmed.

“Oh no, you are _not_ going to pull that again are you? That doesn’t give you credentials in this!”

“Yes, Clark, it does! Batman is the World’s Greatest Detective - do you think I got that name because of guessing? No, I got it because I figure. Things. Out. You’re a reporter - not even _World’s Greatest_ , that honour belongs to Lois - your job is to tell everyone what happens and hope Trump doesn’t give you a migraine!”

Shayera let out a long, low whistle. “And the insults begin. They always go back and forth between being BFFs and hating each other’s guts, can’t we just have a happy medium for them to settle on?”

“Oh, the guy who thinks an animal costume makes him look scary knows better than anyone else, is that it?”

“No, Mr. Where-Do-The-Underpants-Go-Again, just better than you.”

“That’s strange, because you’re going for the conclusion that would be _obvious_ if you didn’t know anything about the Extended Universe! How is Obi Wan supposed to have _had_ a kid in the first place?”

“Oh, I don’t know - maybe something about Satine’s mysterious absence for a huge chunk of the Clone Wars? She could easily have had a kid and passed it off as somebody else’s.”

“Like who?”

“Like Korkie!”

“Korkie’s her nephew!”

“Did you not hear the ‘passed it off as somebody else’s’ part. That doesn’t just mean pretending Korkie’s not Obi Wan’s kid, it also means pretending he’s not Satine’s.”

“Bit of a stretch isn’t it?”

“This is Star Wars! How many kids have been hidden away in these movies?”

“And that happened two generations in a row? Right.”

“Did you not see the forceback? Rey _was_ at Luke’s Jedi Academy when Kylo purged the Jedi. Since she survived, I wouldn’t be surprised by the idea that her parents would hide her somewhere she’d be safe and _wouldn’t_ be found by the First Order.”

The two would have kept arguing for hours on end, if not for a booming voice coming through the loudspeakers the second Bruce finished his sentence. “ENOUGH!” Victor, tapped into the Watchtower communication system, shouted. “You two can argue about this all you want but keep the volume _down_ and the vitriol _out_ and actually have a proper argument, or I swear I will de-orbit this thing! God! If I wanted to put up with stuff like this I’d spend even _more_ time in the comments sections.”

Bruce and Clark, realising how fast their argument had been escalating, looked ashamed. Clark was the first to speak. “He has a point.”

“We _were_ starting to get way more worked up than we needed to,” Bruce agreed. “Truce?”

“Truce,” Clark shook Bruce’s hand. “I still think I’m right.”

“And I still think _I’m_ right. But you’ll be too busy to argue with me about that.”

“What do you mean?.. Wait. You wouldn’t...”

“I would,” Bruce smirked and turned towards Barry. “Hey Barry, what’s better: Star _Wars_ or Star _Trek_?”

And so, Bruce took a zeta beam back to the Batcave, smiling in amusement at a more familiar shouting match taking place aboard the Watchtower.

**Author's Note:**

> I think she's a Kenobi, but that's just my opinion.  
> Originally the entire Justice League was going to argue about it and Bruce was going to be the one threatening to de-orbit the Watchtower because Clark annoyed him, but I think this is better.


End file.
